Wednesday, April 8, 2009

THE Functional Family

I am sick today with various aliments and while sitting in my whalor I started to read the February Ensign over and I realized that I must have skipped a beautiful article on being a Functional Family.
I grew up convinced that I was going to create the Huxtables in my little space on Earth. We would be tight-nit, witty, educated and on and so forth....
Well we got married-knocked up-on a beach-half naked-by the Grim Reaper (he had a judges cloak and it blew in the storm and looked like he was there to kill everyone) We were BROKE and I mean it in the worst way- we had a bed and that was it. It was a year and a half till we bought furniture because we didn't want any MORE debt. I was super sick preggers and Jax was in Nuke School usually pulling 14 hour days, 6 days a week.
WE WERE NOT OFF TO A GREAT HUXTABLE START!
One day after we had been married about a year Jaxon pulled me into him and we danced in our living room to a song on the radio. I knew then that we would probably never be the Huxtables and I was alright with that. Then day by day scraped together a beautiful life. We grew in every way. We tried to raise our Korbin the best we knew how and if I didn't know how to do something there was a book I'd read by someone who did or a long distance phone call to one of our moms.
Anyway, We tried to do the best we could and maybe someday in the back of my mind we could still be the Huxtables.
Our lives became more involved and we added our lovely Alexzondra. And because this is a blog and its supposed to be a sugarcoated version of our lives Ill just say that we were 'tried' as a family in ways I would never wish on my worst enemy. There were times I didn't want to live. (sound very dramatic doesn't it? But, its true and no I am not depressed) I REALLY had to decide what we were to do and I had to let go once and for all the Huxtable dream. I had to find what it meant to just be a NELSON. Not Jaxon's super amazing mother and not mine but what I wanted to be and create my family into. Nothing is harder than trying to rebuild a life that was everything you knew and loved that was lost. I wake up everyday with the prayer that Ill be a better mother/wife/friend than I was yesterday and I usually fall short but then I found this and I feel better about the direction my family is going. Because now we are all going in the direction of Heavenly Father.
These are the 6 Keys to a functional family:
1. In the functional family, parents focus their energy on teaching their children correct principles and allowing them to exercise their energy.
2. Parents INTENTIONALLY strengthen their families.
3. Relationships are of SUPREME importance.
4. Parents are active TEACHERS.
5. Parents LEAD by EXAMPLE.
6. Parents teach their children FAITH in our HEAVENLY FATHER and in the LORD JESUS CHRIST.
Just recently has my Jaxon been fully into getting back with the church and I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to come out of the bathroom from brushing my teeth and see Jax all ready to read scriptures every night. For those of you (like my Jaime =>) that did everything right and got Sealed in the temple and has that every day- don't take it for granted because when its not there you have no idea how much you need it. I am glad for my daily examples of how to be a better person. I just hope my babies realize how loved they are and what a mommy is willing to do to make them happy!

3 comments:

Chris & Jamie said...

What a beautiful post. I thank my Heavenly Father everyday for my blessings. Sometimes it's hard to thank him for trials (like losing my Dad) but he knows what is best for us and things ALWAYS work out if you have faith. You obviously have a lot of faith and I am so happy that your life is becoming what you have always wanted.

Philip and Jaime Connor said...

You are such an example of strength and faith to me. The fact that you are working your way back with such determination is an inspiration to me. I'm grateful to have you in my life and I totally believe that I am going to be at your sealing in the not too distant future.

Katie said...

You're a great person and I admire your perseverance!