Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Invisible mother?





INVISIBLE MOTHER


It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the
way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and
ask to be taken to the store.

Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously, not.

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor,
or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at
all.

I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands,
nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a
clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer,'What
number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30,
please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the
eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude -
but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen
again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a
friend from England ..

Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on
and on about the hotel she stayed in.

I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so
well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.

I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a
beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe ..

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her
inscription:

'To My Dear Friend, with admiration for the greatness of what you are
building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would
discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after
which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of
their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see
finished.

They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of
God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the
cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny
bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why
are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be
covered b y the roof? No one will ever see it.'

And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the
sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act
of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcakeyou've
baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a
great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a
disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my
own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn
pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As
one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see
finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could
ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to
sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend
he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4
in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a
turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That
would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him
to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his
friend, to add, 'You're going to love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're
doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world
by the sacrifices of invisible women.

OK! YOUR READ THIS RIGHT??? MY TURN----

Who is this woman who allows her family to forget how amazing she is? Who are these women who don't look in the mirror and see that they are building Zion? I know that I don't think every minute of the day I'm the most stellar woman god graced with his children but I sure as heck don't go around letting my family take advantage of what I am doing for them. I just don't understand this- you teach people how to treat you. I sometimes clean the house in my pink satin high heels and tell Korbin that its Queen Mommy time and during that time I decided to help keep our house beautiful. I'd dare say that of all the people I respect MOTHER'S are my front runners! My mother- my husband's mother, and a great deal of women who I associate with all the time. These mothers are the ones who taught me un-conditional love, sacrifice, manners, respect, patience, endurance, and all other virtuous qualities that create a whole person- and they CAME FROM MOTHERS! Well, first from God but us moms are the ones who keep it going! I hope you other moms know that I think your amazing and we are building the kingdom of God and you are not invisible to me!!!

2 comments:

Durben Family said...

So I'm confused...did you not write the first chunk? Was that an exert from someone else? I thought it was beautiful. (It started a little sad, but wrapped up with a wonderful perspective.) Was the last paragraph your reflection on it......

ME said...

No someone emailed it to me as just a lovely thing going around. I have no clue as to who the original woman was to begin with. I only read it- flipped out- and wrote my piece at the end. PS you are one of my 'moms'.