Saturday, July 17, 2010

In 13 days we will be forever...

In 13 days Jaxon and I will take our babies to the Draper Temple to be sealed as a family. Part of me has been ready for years and part of me is just now ready. I'll never be able to understand the love I have for this man. It's almost maddening how much I don't have any control over the feelings I have for him, they are so intense, so pure, so passionate and so wonderful. Even in my very darkest hour I knew he was the only one for me. Even when he didn't know -I knew.
If you know us well you would know our road has not been easy. Hardships most marriages will never face have been ours in the first 7 years. Each year has taught us what true love really is. I knew what love was before we married. I knew what it was the first year. The second and so forth but to wake up and say 'Today I'm going to love you more than yesterday' is something that takes much patience. And Practice.
When we were first married a wicked old lady in my ward (Geny Morrision) gave me a piece of great advice 'The day I stopped trying to be the PERFECT wife, I became a wonderful one' How true it was. I wanted to be the smartest, prettiest wife. The one with the best house and cutest kids-who also have manners and I wanted everything to be perfect and I still wanted to be fun. I eventually realized-Jaxon wants a wife who will cuddle him at any given time. A wife who doesn't let herself go but doesn't take 2 hours to get ready. A wife that no matter what stands her ground. And the most important part -A wife that loves him unconditionally. I want to be that wife. I also want to be a little of what a wife is to me too. In the middle we found happiness-and that's all we really wanted anyway.
My lovey is-well, he's just delicious. He is a little bit of everything and I am so happy he is. I'd say he's the most well rounded person I know (except with dancing-or singing-or...) In one minute he can have big tough hands that can build something and the next he is touching me with the most gentle caress while he kisses me softly. He is wildly annoying and like very expensive toys (last week we bought a Harley) but his annoying traits and sorely missed when he's away and we love him just the way he is.
After we were leaving the stake presidents office I asked him if he really was ready because just a few short years ago he wanted nothing to do with God and his reply was so wonderful 'I was just being an idiot, I never not believed I just didn't really think it was for me. I know now that I need it and it needs me. I'm ready for Heavenly Father to make me the man I'm supposed to be I'd also like to have you you know...Forever. That will be great too.'
(You know how Jax speaks =)
Little did he know I'd been working on him the whole time and I'm pretty sure Heavenly Father knew it even when Jaxon didn't.
I AM READY!! I want him and the crazies FOREVER and a little longer after that if you please...

5 comments:

Jackie and Kirk said...

That was beautiful! You had me tearing up when you wrote what Jaxon said to you! I love you and your family and I am so happy that you will be able to be sealed together forever. I have missed you and your family, more than you know, and I am so happy that I get to see you again in a few weeks! Congrats you guys!!

Fireball said...

I am so happy for you guys. You deserve the best, and you're getting it. Know that there are a bunch of people here who love you and are cheering you on.

~T~ said...

We knew you could! Have a good trip!

Michelle said...

This was beautiful and you are beautiful! Congratulations!

Matty and Jen-i said...

Update please!