Gotta wash the Redneck off us...

Albino Racoon (occasional sleeping partner for hire)

??????????

'Dorthy' our lovely tour guide who is being raised similar to 'Mogwli'

Jaxon helping Miss. Allie...

'Robin Hood' Waiting to take us to Nottingham...

Emily and one of her little lady's Eibhlin on the hay ride (there's no hay anywhere).

Miss. Allie and I on the 'boat ride' (more like a pond that you go in a circle in for about 10 minutes) Note-the pollen on the seat...


The Crazies on the boardwalk (the most well-done thing in the park and probally the newest) Don't you love Korbin's 'Egg Hat'? I wouldn't hold it for him so he made due...
Miss. Allie chucking food at the goat. Not feeding-fearing...

In keeping with my tradition of driving to far off places and finding things to do that normal families don't; we (my friend Emily and I) found this little nugget of paradise. We wanted to have a good olde southern Easter Egg Hunt (like on Steel Magnolias) and being as we are not from the area we didn't know that because of The Masters Golf Tournament (which our world during the week of April 5-10 revolves around nowadays) the entire city moves Easter to the week before. Not sure if they checked that with Christ but Tiger Woods is on board. Anyway we finally found a place with a terrific flyer that had tons of 'attractions' and things to do besides the egg hunt. I being a hater of Santa and all things that take away from Jesus real Holiday was pretty happy about that. So we pack the kids, snacks and spouse and go to our destination...

We arrive in the middle of NOWHERE to this land that is very clear they are not a Zoo but a reserve and trespassers would be punished by Smith and Wesson (that is a Gun Co.) Jax got a kick out of that till we kept driving and noticed allot of brown trailers and cages. We said 'We've drove this far and Emily is meeting us so lets make the best of whatever this is'

We get moving into the, the, the I don't know the words to use. It was like all the carneys retired and settled there to reproduce and said 'Hey, we know allot about animals lets call this a Rescue and we'll be rich and no one will care if we don't have a dental plan or schools.'

I don't have enough time or energy to re-live the day but just make sure to notice the people in the pictures and sort of structures, its pretty impressive.

We had 'Robin Hood' take us on the egg hunt but the catch was that once you found your eggs you could dump your candy in your basket but then you had to give back your eggs so they could fill them again. I'm all about reduce reuse and recycle but holy crap. Miss. Allie was very confused.

My friend Emily had her two beautiful ladies with us (really they look like magazine children) but her hubby is deployed and after all of us lugging around the kids/stroller she made the hilarious comment that she looked like our 'sister wife' and we noticed it totally did. But, in that place we totally fit in!

Our final tour guide was 10 or 11 (her family LIVED there) and had on hooker red lipstick and a Dorthy costume (along with all the other girls there?? We still are not sure why) and proceeded to take us along a wicked long walk (yes, on a dirt road) to all the animals like a tiger (best part of the day) and odd sorts of raccoons (one she claims to sleep with at night) foxes, snakes, horses, possums, birds-you get the jest. But, besides the costume this kid went BAREFOOT the whole time and spoke like she came out of Huckleberry Finn.

I am not being stuck up when I say-I have never seen anything like it and we sure as hell won't be going back. By the end of the adventurous morning we were covered by a heavy fog of pollen, dirt and crap. The kids will probably remember this very differently. Yea!

Next year I will be hosting the egg hunt and Miss. Allie will be in white gloves and Korbin will have shoes on...and they will probably hate it.