I have been strikingly negative about life in recent months and I have had reason as well but the other day my mother (Of course- who else!) was quite irritated about my endless groaning. And she let me know it. Fine I knew it, but my negativity is legit so I can whine as much as I want right? I AM freaking out about the Navy I DO hate outside when its all icky an on and on and on and on.
She said I wasn't spending as much time on my knees as I should. I assured her that the Lord must be weary from our family's endless 'please help us' prayers, that I do pray often and sincerely and THEN She said as if it were nothing. 'Perhaps you aren't asking for the right thing' I was immediately defensive and wondered what sort of vain thing it is to ask for a job and a good marriage and food on our table. I will have no answers from the Navy for at least another month. A marriage takes a lifetime. Even IF the Lord gives me everything I need that works out perfectly for us it still wont help me right this very minute.
I NEEDED TO PRAY for comfort, peace of mind, faith in trials and a positive attitude. I was praying for all the biggies and that was great but Ive been so unhappy and I haven't even thought to pray about that. My mom has always been big on involving God into the most minute detail of life. If we needed a arm she would just tell us to pray for one and we'de surely get it if we had enough faith. If you didnt get one you should have been more Christlike. Every topic in almost every conversation revolves around this blessing or that or this miracle or something that the Lord did to make the day a little better. My cup is not half full.
It is overflowing and I thought I always saw it but now my prayers have now been a bit more about HOW we should do what we can do and leaving the rest to the Lord. I cannot change the weather- you'd know I would if I could too. But, I can throw on a slicker and jump in some puddles- and hey it only takes me 10 minutes to get ready these days!
1 comment:
Hi, this is Mandy, Jamie's friend. I am a little confused as to why you need to lose any weight. From what I can tell, you are gorgeous! I might be a little intimidated and self conscious to be encouraging YOU to eat right. But I'm all for it if you need some motivation. My email is mandy_woodruff@yahoo.com. We can chat better that way.
I wanted to make a few comments about some of your posts. Don't hate me, but I think your hair has some potential. The more you get to know me, you will learn I am not a liar! I will not make up something just to avoid hurting your feelings. remeber I said"your hair has some POTENTIAL."
I have learned when I pray, to show more gratitude than ask for blessings. It is hard, I know, but try just one time to not ask for anything. See how you feel. My husband has been out of a job for 4 months now. Luckily, he qualified for Unemployment. We have been living on credit as well as help from our Bishop. Life has been hard but times like these help us recognize the many blessings in our lives. Don't let your mom make you feel like your trials are your fault because you aren't Christlke. You can do all that you can and still have trials. This is why we are here. The advesary works harder on us when we follow the commandments, so in hindsight, you should realize how righteous you are when times are the toughest.
I'm guessing by your comments on the weather that you aren't here in St. George where I am. Is that so? I guess we couldn't meet and let our kids play? Send me an email. I am anxious to hear from you.
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