A fun-Living wife

Last week a girlfriend lent me her book 'Strangling your Husband is NOT an option' By Merilee Boyack and I was sorta like 'Gee did I say something that makes you think I need this? Did I talk you you while I was ticked at Jax? Do you think I'm a crappy wife?' After I realized I was PMS-ing I see that she read it and just wanted to pass it on. I hope...
I did start to read it in my need to always do something and laughed the whole time!! It was a great book and I'm just happy to have read it with an Church Active lovey! Because, for once in my life I am not urging Jaxon to do his Home Teaching (if you knew him before this is a miracle!) He is full circle from the way things were a few years ago and I loved the pants off him then (Yes, pun intended! Who's blog do you think this is?! =) and now I was happy to read this and actually check off a good number of things and It was nice to feel like my hard work in this marriage paid off!! And, can keep paying off FOREVER!!!
On to the good stuff-There is a chapter on being a 'fun-living wife' and I am ALWAYS trying to liven things up. Seriously, changing diapers totally cramps the sporadic energetic person that I once was! I took the 'Are you a boring wife' test and I only do ONE of the things-I wear my stinky gym clothes some days-all day. I know that's gross but I'm weeding (don't pass out, I have to weed-Jax is too cheap to hire it out) and playing tag or being Obi-One-Kan obi or whatever. But, I so want to be the fun-living wife, mom, and friend. I don't want to be 'Oh, gotta go see what the ball and chain is up too, probaly nothing; She's just there.'
ME!? NEVER!!
And, after being poverty stricken in the Navy for a few years I've learned that a good time can cost NOTHING!! You can be a good time just by being a fun person!! I WILL be a FUN LIVING WIFE and if we are going to have to pull weeds we will do it with music and watermelon and swimsuits and a bubble machine and we will have a backyard picnic as soon as we are done-baby, your never gonna want to pull weeds with anybody else....

The Passy Fairy came!!! (pics are funny so look from bottom to top)

Miss. Allie very happy about her promotion to 'Big Girl' status.

Trying on her wings and clearly comfortable with her personal fairy....

Passy Fairy (notice the little yellow bucket-it has passys in it from the last house she was visiting) coming to a now 'Big Girls' house.

Miss. Allie meeting her Passy Fairy. Note-Allie has her passy in her mouth. She was using up every last moment...

I had wanted to get rid of the passy but I wanted to do it where I wasn't the bad guy (I'm ALWAYS the bad guy for some reason) and I had a few ideas come from friends and this was the best! I called a few local ballet studios and asked if there was any girl (Jaxon said it would have been way better with a bodybuilder in a tutu-he's retarded) that wouldn't mind making $20 to dress up and take my kids passys to 'other little babies that needed them'

It would be the easiest 15 minutes of her working life.

I got a call a few days later-probably after they Googled me to see if I was a pedophile-from this girls mom saying she was interested. We met her a few weeks later at a big dance showcase-where Miss. Allie was enamored by dance (I was thrilled) and kept still the longest she had in her whole life. We told introduced them and we found Kaitlyn (aka. Passy Fairy extraordinaire) to be the sweetest thing and one heck of a dancer!

Last night Kaitlyn went above and beyond for her first 'Passy Fairy' gig.

I had asked her to wear any sort of super girly costume and she showed up in a Tinker Bell approved costume complete with huge wings! She was so sweet and even brought a little bucket with other passys in it (that she had just collected from other 'Big Girls') and big girl things like stickers, bubbles, a princess bowl and cup (we already had the matching plate) and the best-a magical set of identical wings.

Miss. Allie was elated, a little hacked at the putting the passys in the bucket but she really liked the bubbles and the wings. I had told Kaitlyn I would have fairy dust and a big girl toy ready for her but they were not needed-hers were way better!

Our good friends, Amy and Kaylee Hunter were there for moral support and I think they will be calling this Passy Fairy soon! And, I shall be running some more $$ to her for all the extras she threw in! She did much more than my little $20 could have thought!

We waved goodbye to her and wished her luck in her next fairy adventures.

We are now two nights down and doing pretty great!!

When she asks for her passy we ask her where it went and she says 'Passy Fairy took to the babies' and she feels better.

Yea, for the Passy Fairy!!!

Gotta wash the Redneck off us...

Albino Racoon (occasional sleeping partner for hire)

??????????

'Dorthy' our lovely tour guide who is being raised similar to 'Mogwli'

Jaxon helping Miss. Allie...

'Robin Hood' Waiting to take us to Nottingham...

Emily and one of her little lady's Eibhlin on the hay ride (there's no hay anywhere).

Miss. Allie and I on the 'boat ride' (more like a pond that you go in a circle in for about 10 minutes) Note-the pollen on the seat...


The Crazies on the boardwalk (the most well-done thing in the park and probally the newest) Don't you love Korbin's 'Egg Hat'? I wouldn't hold it for him so he made due...
Miss. Allie chucking food at the goat. Not feeding-fearing...

In keeping with my tradition of driving to far off places and finding things to do that normal families don't; we (my friend Emily and I) found this little nugget of paradise. We wanted to have a good olde southern Easter Egg Hunt (like on Steel Magnolias) and being as we are not from the area we didn't know that because of The Masters Golf Tournament (which our world during the week of April 5-10 revolves around nowadays) the entire city moves Easter to the week before. Not sure if they checked that with Christ but Tiger Woods is on board. Anyway we finally found a place with a terrific flyer that had tons of 'attractions' and things to do besides the egg hunt. I being a hater of Santa and all things that take away from Jesus real Holiday was pretty happy about that. So we pack the kids, snacks and spouse and go to our destination...

We arrive in the middle of NOWHERE to this land that is very clear they are not a Zoo but a reserve and trespassers would be punished by Smith and Wesson (that is a Gun Co.) Jax got a kick out of that till we kept driving and noticed allot of brown trailers and cages. We said 'We've drove this far and Emily is meeting us so lets make the best of whatever this is'

We get moving into the, the, the I don't know the words to use. It was like all the carneys retired and settled there to reproduce and said 'Hey, we know allot about animals lets call this a Rescue and we'll be rich and no one will care if we don't have a dental plan or schools.'

I don't have enough time or energy to re-live the day but just make sure to notice the people in the pictures and sort of structures, its pretty impressive.

We had 'Robin Hood' take us on the egg hunt but the catch was that once you found your eggs you could dump your candy in your basket but then you had to give back your eggs so they could fill them again. I'm all about reduce reuse and recycle but holy crap. Miss. Allie was very confused.

My friend Emily had her two beautiful ladies with us (really they look like magazine children) but her hubby is deployed and after all of us lugging around the kids/stroller she made the hilarious comment that she looked like our 'sister wife' and we noticed it totally did. But, in that place we totally fit in!

Our final tour guide was 10 or 11 (her family LIVED there) and had on hooker red lipstick and a Dorthy costume (along with all the other girls there?? We still are not sure why) and proceeded to take us along a wicked long walk (yes, on a dirt road) to all the animals like a tiger (best part of the day) and odd sorts of raccoons (one she claims to sleep with at night) foxes, snakes, horses, possums, birds-you get the jest. But, besides the costume this kid went BAREFOOT the whole time and spoke like she came out of Huckleberry Finn.

I am not being stuck up when I say-I have never seen anything like it and we sure as hell won't be going back. By the end of the adventurous morning we were covered by a heavy fog of pollen, dirt and crap. The kids will probably remember this very differently. Yea!

Next year I will be hosting the egg hunt and Miss. Allie will be in white gloves and Korbin will have shoes on...and they will probably hate it.

EYES

People I need help! I need any secret remedies that your Great Grandmother twice removed taught you or some crazy wifestale for the WAR ON POLLEN! We are losing it, folks! Korbin and I look like we've been socked in the eyes and yes, we are on EVERYTHING.

Allegra, Zyrtec, Clari tin, Benadryl etc...If I take anything else I'll levitate and Korbin will go into a coma from an overdose!!

We are so miserable.

The drugs (one or the combo) have taken care of the runny nose and any congestion but the EYES!!

OH MY EYES!!

Seriously, a drippy eye is the ickiest thing ever. (really, think about it-its gross)

People RUN from you.

Miss. Allie wont kiss my face cause she says I look SCARY!

(you can't imagine what this does for your love life)

This is bad.

Help.

I'll stand on my head.

Ill eat, drink, chant, whatever-to feel like I can see again!!

(Truly I have so many type mistakes because typing this burns my little puffy eye balls)

A day, a mere second, that changed everything...

Sometimes life sucks.

It just does.

I don't understand it.

No one does.

Right now, when I'm supposed to be looking forward to Eternity, My hardworking parents are loosing their house. The recession has eaten them alive.

My dear friends marriage is dissolving and her family totally forsaken by the one person who is supposed to love them the most.

I can't help but be frustrated by the lack of justice in the Universe.

Those are just two of the many, many heartbreaks all around and I sit here in my happiness and I know I've worked for it and I deserve it - but so have they. They have worked hard and done whats right. They were everything they should have been. Where is their reward? Where is the happy ending? I guess I shouldn't feel selfish that I'm happy now. Finally. But, I do.

I wish that obedience=happiness.

I wish that life were 2+2=4.

What do you do when you do everything right and it doesn't matter?

The answer is-it does matter.

You are still YOU.

Even if your whole life is destroyed and everything you had is now nonexistent. You still have your own soul. Your own respect and honor and dignity and dreams.

Most important you still have Heavenly Father.

The one person where 2+2 always =4.

There will NEVER come a day that HE will leave YOU.

That day that HE says 'Enough! It's just to hard' Will NOT come.

I have always know HIM and believed in HIM but till I have personally felt my world crushing down upon me and felt as though there is no such thing as standing up and being able to move forward with another breath; That my life has lead up to that one miserable minute and I sucked.

But, as they say 'When life gets too hard to stand-kneel.'

It's true. The day I stopped believing in HIM but the day I BELIEVED HIM.

I won't say that it happened when I wanted it to; It felt like forever. But, one day after months and lots of kneeling I felt a little better. After lots and lots of work a bit more healing came. The situation had not changed much as it often doesn't, but my soul could find little reasons within myself to find answers. Answers I might not have wanted but they were what I should do.

Isn't that what we all want?

A solution that makes everyone happy.

Absolution is rarely ours.

After I did everything I could I got the answer that saved me-

'Your family is not on the end of my to-do list. I am with you every minute of your struggle and I do not sit on the side lines. You will need this someday and so will your family and now I know where you will go. You will come to me. You are not forsaken and I love you.'

When I felt this or heard it in my heart or mind or however. My whole world changed. I still had to live in my situation but I knew that I could endure. I knew it wasn't always going to be this hard. I knew it wasn't going to be this awful forever. I knew that if I could do this with faith and work I would someday be happy again. I had experienced not a change of heart but I knew the eternal perspective, in that one still moment and I felt that this horrid time in my life was short (but important) in the eternal realm.

I knew that I was was capable of doing this.

And through our deepest sorrow can be our greatest joy, for we know both.

*I know this is UN-blog like but I think that some experiences should be shared and I felt the need to share this today. That experience happened over a year ago and I remember the very words daily. I am lucky in this moment and hopefully a few thousand more lucky ones to come. I hope that in darkness you know not to look for the light at the end of the tunnel; Because you are the light you just have to make it through the tunnel...and someone that knows the way is holding your hand.

Hold tight.